Safely out of Boracay. Dear body: You're Welcome

Greetings from Panglau. The itinerary you guys have is definitely not right. Malapascua is where I did my scuba stuff. Now I'm in Bahon, on Panglau island...I think. The names are always a little elusive as every 2 metres it seems we're in a different municipality and the islands have names that don't exactly roll off the tongue. I popped into this internet place on a whim, and usually I have a notebook that I bring with me to remind me of where we've been and what we've been doing, but I don't have it today, so bear with me on the details.
The last day in Boracay, once I sobered up, was pretty chill. I managed to get my life together by about 5:00 and do some shopping, which was decent but nowhere near the crazy deals and numerous stores that characterizes Thailand. I bought some jewelry, a couple of dresses, a new sarong, and a bathing suit top. Bathing suit shopping in the Philippines is quite the ordeal, especially when one is bloated from being hungover and has not seen the inside of a gym for a month. There is one size, SMALL. And it is not Canadian size small, no no no. It is Filipina size small which is about as big around as my upper thigh. Sadly the tops all fit like a damn (tiny boobs and all that) but I wasn't about to go and buy a bunch of half bathing suits. I just got the one that I already kind of have matching bottoms for. That night I was clearly in no shape to drink excessively, so me and Kaitlyn from my group headed out for some awesome Japanese food that cost me a whopping $18 for soup, rice, sushi roll, tuna steak, salad, and this mysterious plain tofu for desert. Which is actually really expensive for the Philippines but it was tasty and I deserve a damn treat every now and again. That tofu thing was NOT desert so we stopped for gelato on the way home. Yum yum.
Fully committing to the tourist vibe around us, the next morning us 2 got up an hr before our 8am departure to make our way to the Starbucks!!!! Starbucks Boracay is the happiest place on earth. I was more than excited at the prospect of having a whole wheat bagel and a "triple grade sugar-free vanilla non-fat latte", and then when we walked in we were greeted by the happiest damn staff of any coffee shop anywhere in the world. The girls behind the counter giggled and asked us all sorts of personal questions that were so adorable and sent us upstairs to eat our breakfast overlooking the blue blue waters. Kaitlyn ran downstairs to grab us another cream cheese and came back with 2 sets of "pearl" earrings. Evidently the girl at the til has a cousin who makes these for the street vendors who are selling them all over Boracay, so she has a ton and gave them to us as a present just for being adorable I suppose. So random but quite seriously the best Starbucks experience you could imagine. I think I should write a letter.
8 am and we were on our way via jeepney to the ferry, little jumper ferry to the bus terminal, 6 hrs on a bus to Iloilo, where we had 2 hrs to shop at the mall and hang out before going on a jumbo night ferry back to Cebu. I just bought some $10 gladiator sandals and had some lasagna. Hey, sometimes you just want some friggin' white people food. The night ferry was pretty nice, comfortable beds and the standard frozen solid air conditioning. I had a bottle of wine on the roof of the ferry (ignoring the big red RESTRICTED ACCESS sign...oh well) and passed out. Wierdly they didn't turn off the lights all night so I spent the evening cursing myself for not bringing a sleeping mask. Around 6:30 we rolled into Cebu, picked up Adam and Amanda who had gotten out of the hospital 2 days prior and caught another ferry to Panglau. Apparently Amanda had an inflamed fallopian tube and it spilled some sort of infectious bile into her uterus. I'm not really sure on the specifics, but she's all good now. Her brother had a pretty nightmarish few days, as she ended up on oxygen and the nurses could not administer any medication without him actually getting a prescription and going down to the pharmacy himself to get it, that includes IV antibiotics and a cold compress when she had a fever. Also no A/C and no bed for him to sleep in, and we had their backpacks for the whole time in Boracay. Poor things. But all is well now, the group is together and back in action. Our rooms here have kitchenettes so we stopped at the grocery store for luxuries such as cheese and fresh produce and the fixins for a bbq tomorrow afternoon to celebrate the birthday that Adam spent laying on a bench in a Filipino hospital.
I'm really not feelin' our new girls Alyssa. She's 26 and going through a divorce from her high school boyfriend, so that time that most girls have when they're 18 or 19 and just discover alcohol, freedom, and sex, she is going through now, 26 years old, in the Philippines. She is as emotionally stunted as you can possibly imagine and has a voice that grates on my for a reason I can't quite pinpoint. Add that to the fact that she had sex with some Australian dude on her balcony at 8am totally wasted and lets just say her and I haven't exactly bonded. Also she has never had a drink until about 7 months ago and tries to go shot for shot with our 31 year old professional alcoholic/tourguide. Yeesh. I avoid her for the sake of not having any open hostility on this trip.
Tomorrow we've got a dive booked at Balicasag island, which is supposed to be pretty amazing. We're doing 2 dives then hitting the Tanduay (P60 here) for Adam's belated birthday. My body is happy to be out of Boracay, maybe it will get some R&R...or maybe not. Today marks exactly 2 weeks till I get home - where did the time go???